Who's Buying and Who's Selling?

I recently heard an interesting stat. Did you know that money is mentioned in the bible more than twice as much as both heaven and hell combined?

Our societies, belief systems and principles are often built around money...or are they? A closer look at behaviour reveals something else all together.

Our societies, belief systems and principles are built on value, not money. Money is simply bits of metal, paper or plastic. It is the value and meaning attached to money that truly concerns us. Money is not the root of all evil, it doesn’t change people, and it doesn’t start wars. Money is simply money. But let’s get back to the value conversation... it’s far more interesting.

When it all boils down, we are all buying or selling something. Ideas, morals, beliefs, goods and services, even love. Charities are selling the notion of altruism and the positive benefit you gain from giving (or at least the successful charities are!) Governments are selling fiscal management and representation of the voting public best interest (or at least they aspire to!) Your local corner store is selling convenience, not just a product.

We are all buying and selling something, and in return the things that are successfully bought and sold are things of a perceived value to the end user. We change mobile phone carrier for better value with another provider. We will gladly pay extras for great service at a nice restaurant, and Matt our business manager goes out of his way to get a coffee from Nook Expresso, his favourite coffee shop. Value takes on many forms.

We also look for value in our life beyond retail sales. We resign and take on another job because the grass is greener on the other side. Relationships end when the value is not there anymore. In many cases, people stop working to their potential for a boss who doesn’t value them anymore.

When you really think about it, the search for value is as much a part of our lives as breathing, sleeping or eating. 

So perhaps it is time to examine three things;

1. Are you getting the value you wish for?
2. Are you providing value to others?
3. Do you value yourself?

Hint: The last one is the most important one to spend time on.

Warm wishes,

Darren and Alison

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The PLUG: Dealing with the Tough Stuff Program

Thursday 24 March 2011

Having trouble delivering results from critical conversations?

'Dealing with the Tough Stuff' gives you, your management or organisation practical tools to deal with the really tough conversations within your workplace.

Many managers struggle with the process of dealing with tough conversations and in many cases actually avoid them completely.  This strategy of avoidance reinforces undesired behaviours and may precipitate further problems.

One of the biggest responsibilities with a leadership position is the importance of addressing and dealing with staff issues.  At times this requires you to 'step up to the plate' and ultimately deal with the tough stuff.

Visit www.toughstuffprogram.com for more information on Dealing with the Tough Stuff.

To register your interest  for Dealing with the Tough Stuff on Thursday 24 March 2011 please contact Matt on 0418 577 277 or matt@pragmaticthinking.com. 

THE GIFT: The Case for Generosity

This weeks gift is by Anya Kamenetz.  In this article Anya delves into a global economy built on the kindness of strangers by explaining how the internet could unlock our natural impulse to share goals.

Download the entire article here 

What's the Point?

5 Points for Handling Tough Conversations

“Why did they take it so personally?”

Have you ever uttered this phrase or heard someone else say it? Perhaps it was just after a performance review discussion, or some other workplace-related tough-stuff type conversation.

People can take criticism and feedback very personally, sometimes more than expected. But rather than simply dumping blame on them, have you ever stopped to think what your role was in them having taken it personally?

The truth is, people often take things personally not because of what is said but rather, on where you said it.

Picture this... you sit down to give someone some tough but necessary feedback. You take a deep breath, thank them for coming, then proceed to look them square in the eye and...

There’s your first mistake. 

Using the exceptional intellectual property of Michael Grinder as a cornerstone, we know that using a ‘two-point’ communication medium (eye to eye) is probably the worst way to conduct a tough stuff conversation. You see, it is almost impossible to not take it personally, because the manner in which you communicated the message was the most personal of all communication styles.

So next time you have a message that is not peaches and cream, try the following 5 points;

1. Conduct the conversation anywhere but your office. Avoid the contamination of your most productive space. It’s damn hard having a ‘let’s get excited/kick some goals!’ type of meeting the day after you have torn shreds off them in that very same seat. 
2. Direct the conversation to a shared point. No, this doesn’t mean using some multi-million dollar software program, it simply means using something you can both look at. Whether it is a piece of paper, whiteboard, or job-sheet, if you both direct attention towards it, in turn, it directs attention away from you both, depersonalising the situation.
3. Use your hand eye coordination. To ensure the use of a shared point works well, make sure your eye-line and hand movements are congruent. Research shows, we tend to look where others look, and if your eyes and hands follow each other, it is subconsciously very hard for us not to follow.
4. Don't let them drag you in. Even though you may be looking to not use eye-to-eye contact, they may want you to. They might be trying two things. Firstly, they might be wanting you to look into their puppy-dog eyes so you will love them a little more... and secondly, they might want you looking them in the eye because they scare you. Either reason, you don’t want to go there.
5. Breathe deep. Great leaders have the ability to breath low in a crisis. If you stay calm, it helps them stay calm.

In the end, tough conversations are an inevitable part of our workday; that’s a given. But the way in which you handle them will probably determine how much sleep you get that night.

Thanks for reading

Darren Hill

Executive Director

Pragmatic Thinking