I think there are often three answers to this question. Let’s consider them;
Who cares if people talk about me when I am not around...
You should care. Being ambivalent to the opinions of others is reserved for the belligerent few that are self centered and the opinions of others count for little. For most people who have to maintain and nurture relationships with others in our work lives, the way people talk about you in you absence is critical for success particularly as a leader.Think of it this way. The single most influential advertorial for your skills as a leader (regardless of industry) is the immediate community that comes into contact with you. You need to care, because your reputation WILL proceed you.
I am not sure. I wouldn’t know what they say about me.
This is possibly the most common response... And is a symptom of some 
other issues. Why would you not know? Are you disconnected from the group? Is this disconnection from the group because you are sensitive to negative feedback, or are you terrible at hearing nice stuff said about you? Either way, lack of engagement with the group is not what leadership is about. Great leaders have a pretty good handle on what people say about them.
other issues. Why would you not know? Are you disconnected from the group? Is this disconnection from the group because you are sensitive to negative feedback, or are you terrible at hearing nice stuff said about you? Either way, lack of engagement with the group is not what leadership is about. Great leaders have a pretty good handle on what people say about them.You should ‘tune in’ to what people might say about you when you aren’t around. It is the first step towards actually generating the type of conversation you wish them to have.
I didn't even know people were talking about me behind my back
Hello! Is this denial at play here, or is it delusion? Of course people talk about you when you aren’t around. Actually I would contend that if people didn't talk about you when you weren’t around, then something is seriously wrong. Accept the fact people will talk about you in your absence and build strategies to ensure they talk about the good stuff.Note: I am not saying that you should mull over every corridor whisper, nor should you be completely reactionary to everything that is ever said about you. But being in touch with the legacy you leave when you’re not there is the mark of a real leader.
But hopefully, if nothing else, this piece will have you considering another question.
How do you want to be remembered?
Darren and Alison
The PLUG: Dealing with the Tough Stuff Program General Sessions
After the amazing success of our Dealing With the Tough Stuff Exclusive Showcase, three general sessions will be presented between Brisbane and the Gold Coast. Want to know why you don't want to miss them? Check out our Rave Reviews!
Thursday 12 May 2011
Time: 9:00am to 4:30pm
Location: Robina, venue TBA.
Thursday 26 May 2011
Time: 9:00am to 4:30pm
Location: Brisbane, venue TBA.
Thursday 16 June 2011
Time: 9:00am to 4:30pm
Location: Robina, venue TBA.
Having trouble delivering results from critical conversations?
'Dealing with the Tough Stuff' gives you, your management or organisation practical tools to deal with the really tough conversations within your workplace.
Many managers struggle with the process of dealing with tough conversations and in many cases actually avoid them completely. This strategy of avoidance reinforces undesired behaviours and may precipitate further problems.
One of the biggest responsibilities with a leadership position is the importance of addressing and dealing with staff issues. At times this requires you to 'step up to the plate' and ultimately deal with the tough stuff.
Visit www.toughstuffprogram.com for more information on Dealing with the Tough Stuff.
To register your interest for a Dealing with the Tough Stuff program either on the Gold Coast or in Brisbane on please contact Matt on 0418 577 277 or matt@pragmaticthinking.com.
THE GIFT: The 7 Secrets of Inspiring Leaders
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