Don't cut what you can untie

Most businesses, organisations and managers understand that their work (and it’s success) is directly tied to the relationships we build and maintain. 

Relationships by their very nature are not static entities; they form, they develop, they change, they adapt, and sometimes they end. 

There are situations in the workplace when these changing relationships are met with an abrupt finish and bridges are burnt in the process.  This severity of cutting off a relationship makes it really tough to reestablish connection and inclusion. When something is cut, it loses its structural integrity and introduces new ‘weak spots’. 

One example we see this happen all too often in workplaces is around the announcement of someone’s pregnancy. It is not uncommon for someone going off on maternity leave to feel like they are no longer included in the teams activities or decisions, they are left out of key meetings and can be treated as though they are no longer part of the organisation, well before their leave commences. To the point where if treated this way and made to feel unvalued, some may not ever return from maternity leave at all. This is a significant loss for the team from both a relationship and an economic point of view. It’s just one of many examples.

The reality is that most relationships at work can adapt, change, or even end with mutual respect if the time is taken to work through this transformation.  

It’s the difference between ripping open a present or carefully unwrapping it. If ripped what’s left is simply rubbish, if given patience and time the wrapping can be reused again. 

In your key relationships this week make sure you invest the following three elements: 

1. Time - take the time to carefully sit with and untie any issues that you may have avoided;
2. Respect - like complicated knots, sometimes if we respect it we can understand better how to untie it in a way that keeps each party’s integrity in tact; and 
3. Self - invest your authentic self into the process. Be sincere and honest rather than saying or doing what you think you ‘should’. Don’t simply give it part of your attention, give it the best of your intention. 

Take a deep breath, invest the time, because you never know where or when that relationship may evolve. 

Note: We certainly acknowledge that there are situations that even with the investment of time and patience, the knot is too tight, messy, tangled, and complicated to untie and a swift cut is needed. Just don’t make this the first step.

Thanks for spending this time with us

Darren & Alison

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